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North American manglers of the English language have long since adopted the phrase ‘different than’ but I notice that more and more speakers of British English are saying ‘different to’. When comparing things, we are deciding if they differ from each other. Not to or than each other. Not sure what to get for that special person? Thinking of gift vouchers? Wait! Why not just give them the money, and simply tell them which shop to spend it in. When I was growing up, there was only one phone in our household … Well, I could go on. But who would believe me? If I went on to describe it as weighing two and a half kilos, wired in, and rented to us by the State-owned post and telephone monopoly people would think I was making it up. So I won’t mention that it didn’t even have a screen, for that would be unimaginable. London’s National Theatre went international last night for a live screening of One Man, Two Guvnors. Manchester’s Cornerhouse joined cinemas in Canada, New Zealand, Estonia, South Africa, Iceland and many other countries in charging people to sit and watch a play being performed somewhere else. Strange idea in the 21st century, really. Television broadcast by satellite from the other side of the globe has become commonplace. So what was it like paying £15 to watch something that wasn’t quite a film, and wasn’t quite like being at a live performance? It did feel a bit detached – almost voyeuristic. We in Manchester were witnessing something, more than directly engaging in the performance. The audience in London applauded but we did not. There was raucous laughter at the NT – and a few muffled guffaws in Manchester. We had a better view than those in the theatre’s cheap seats. The camerawork was sophisticated, mixing close-ups with wide angle views and audience shots. It was not just a static projection of the entire stage as I had feared it might be. We also got a backstage tour in the interval, conducted by Emma Freud. And what of the play itself? A five-star performance from the truly talented James Corden, supported by a very strong cast – including a skiffle band. It’s a farce based on Goldoni’s Servant of Two Masters written in 1743, brought up-to-date (actually to 1963) by Richard Bean. The script is sparkling, the slapstick comedy timed to perfection. I’m really glad I went, and just a bit sorry that I didn’t clap at the end. It transfers to the Adelphi Theatre in London’s West End from 8 November, with the original cast. Go and see it! In the interests of sexual equality the word ‘actress’ has been phased out. One word for one profession. But why didn’t we phase out ‘actor’ instead? I think it’s now time to purge the English language of other gender distinguishing words. Let’s stop saying ‘he’ and ‘she’. Let’s just choose one and dump the other. ‘He gave birth’ sounds strange now, but at one time, so did ‘She is an actor’. Deliberately induced road collisions (‘crash for cash’) are on the increase, apparently. Criminals cause a crash typically by braking hard and unexpectedly in front of the victim’s vehicle, and profit from the resulting claim for damage and personal injury. This dangerous and illegal practice exploits the fact that the victim cannot stop in time to avoid hitting the vehicle in front. In other words, it can only succeed when the victim is driving in an unsafe manner. As Rule 126 of The Official Highway Code says:
If all motorists obeyed this rule perhaps there would be no incidents of ‘crash for cash’. Three facts I learned today: Q: Which town is not only the birthplace of Baroness Bakewell, but is also the home of Lottery Street and Hollywood Towers? A: Stockport! Its inclusion in Crap Towns: The 50 Worst Places To Live In The UK is therefore clearly a travesty. Have you noticed that supermarkets sell virtually everything at half price, or two-for-one these days? They still make a healthy profit – last year Tesco notched up a 10% increase in profits to make a record £3.4bn. for example, so something isn’t quite right here. Does the ‘full price’ include an exorbitant 50% profit margin
… more → It is exactly forty years since we converted from pounds, shillings and pence to decimal coinage. I was a keen coin collector in those days, and had already enthusiastically bought several sets of the new coins which were available at the Post Office as early as 1969. I also purchased Britain’s last complete set of pre-decimal coins – struck in 1953 and sealed at the Royal Mint. This comprised
… more → A report published today about 400 unwanted pregnancies in women relying on a contraceptive implant reminded me of the world population clock I wrote about some time ago. It’s a frightening experience, watching it increment every ten seconds: As a species, shouldn’t we be doing something about this? And I don’t just mean making sure implantable contraceptives actually work. How can human population growth not be the Number One Priority – above the world economic crisis, above climate change, above HIV, above every other concern which occupies our thoughts as we hurtle around the sun, trapped on this very finite ball of rock? |
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